It’s Not About Sex

Sex addiction is never really about sex. We mistakenly think that since so much time is being spent in the pursuit of or recovery from sex that it must be about sex. In reality, sex is the canvas that is being used to paint a picture revealing the deeper emotional world of the addict. Often the painting is an unconscious effort to relieve wounds from childhood.

The addict is usually unaware of the connection between their sexual acting out and past life events. It isn’t until they look more closely at their story and begin to understand how it is affecting them that the colors begin to fill in and the picture starts to take shape. One of the first things people learn in recovery is that whatever their chosen sexual behavior, it is not random and it does have meaning. The behavior is somehow related to their story.

As addict’s begin to explore their behaviors and for the first time they hear themselves tell their secrets out loud they start to see patterns line up and suddenly things begin to make more sense. This is often very relieving for the addict as their behavior has confounded them and created deep shame.

As the addict begins to understand that their behavior is grounded in their story and has meaning, the shame begins to diminish. Along with the shame, the pull toward the behaviors also begins to lose power as the underlying forces are brought out of the unconscious mind and into awareness.

For more information or help call: 561-501-1725 or email: BehaviorAddictions@gmail.com