When first finding out the person you love has “cheated” on you it can feel as though your whole world is collapsing in on you. You may question everything that you once believed and thought to be true about the person who cheated on you and even your relationship.

 

You may wonder:

 

•  Has s/he ever loved me?

•  Did s/he fall out of love with me?

•  Was it something I did?

•  Am I not good enough?

•  Could I have done a better job in this relationship?

•  Did I cause this to happen?

 

Then you may start wondering:

 

•  Is the other person more attractive, smarter or sexier than me?

•  Is my partner or spouse no longer attracted to me?

•  Could I have done more to please him or her in the bedroom?

•  What did I do wrong?

 

Once you have discovered spousal betrayal in your marriage or relationship has happened, you may begin to look back for any clues in your relationship you might have missed. You may even start questioning and think “my spouse is a sex addict” or “my spouse is addicted to porn, why did I not see the signs?” You may even be blaming yourself for this.

 

The shock of discovering the person you love has “cheated” on you is devastating and very confusing, and once discovered will put an even greater strain on an already fragile and damaged relationship or marriage.  Therapy or couples counseling for treating relational infidelity is always strongly recommended by most therapists and by other couples who have gone through the counseling process to fix and save their marriage and family. 

 

The following list are some of the feelings and emotions my clients have shared with me to explain the pain and confusion caused from the damage by their spouse's affairs:

 

•     Loss of trust

•     Feelings of rage

•     Guilt and remorse

•     Self-doubting

•     Feelings of hate and anger all the time

•     Unable to function at work

•     Anger at God

•     Blaming and shaming the partner

•     Negative consequences for the children

•     Weight gain or loss

•     Negative body image

•     Lack of sleep

•     Depression and anxiety

•     Feeling of worthlessness

•     Thoughts of self harm

•     Loss of productivity at work

•     Damage to self esteem

•     Snooping and interrogating

•     Stalking

 

Relationships are challenging and require work to maintain the same respect, love and joy that most relationships naturally start off with. In the beginning there is little or no effort required to maintain the feelings of respect, love and joy. Later, feelings of being overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities and having to learn how to juggle family, money, careers and child rearing become a new reality. Often little, or perhaps improper thinking has gone into how to manage all of this and still maintain the respect, love and joy which you had started your relationship with.

 

Even though infidelity and spousal betrayal feel as though you may never be able to trust again and may seem like it is the end of your relationship, Fort Lauderdale Behavior Therapy provides every couple with a focused therapy treatment plan that takes place in a supportive and confidential counseling setting. 

 

Working together step-by-step, couples can begin to learn and use new tools, ideas, and communication styles to safely explore the core issues, set up new boundaries and establish a new foundation for starting over. You learn to work together in restoring the broken trust, mutual respect, love, and even your sex life may reach new heights.